The Art of Self-Exaltation

Over thirteen years ago, I penned an article called "The Art of Self-Loathing" where I fleshed out what I thought was wisdom. Today, however, I have learned that self-loathing (that is, self-hate or self-pity) is actually a socially acceptable and therapeutic way of describing what biblical wisdom rightfully refers to as the sin of pride.

Let's face it: all of us think about ourselves too much. We are naturally selfish people - or, as the apostle Paul puts it, full of "all kinds of covetousness" (Romans 7:8). This is what selfishness really is: a covetous, self-indulgent passion, and this sort of living is contrary to the way Christ calls his followers to live.

"But," you say, "I'm not too proud. I don't boast. I honestly hate myself. I am such a low, miserable creature."

The problem with such self-pity is that it can fool us into thinking we are being noble and even humble. However, who is at the center of my self-pity party? That's right: me.

At the root of boasting in our own glory, and at the root of pitying in my own failures, is a prideful and haughty spirit, a spirit that thinks of my own glory and self-exaltation before any and all - even God himself.

Author John Piper puts it like this:

The nature and depth of human pride are illuminated by comparing boasting with self-pity. Both are manifestations of pride. Boasting is the response of pride to success. Self-pity is the response of pride to suffering. Boasting says, "I deserve admiration because I have achieved so much." Self-pity says, "I deserve admiration because I have sacrificed so much." Boasting is the voice of pride in the heart of the strong. Self-pity is the voice of pride in the heart of the weak. Boasting sounds self-sufficient. Self-pity sounds self-sacrificing.

The reason self-pity dos not look like pride is that it appears to be needy. But the need arises from a wounded ego, and the desire of the self-pitying is not really for others to see them as helpless, but as heroes. The need self-pity feels does not come from a sense of unworthiness, but from a sense of unrecognized worthiness. It the response of unapplauded pride.1

Looking back over my life, I am able to more clearly see that the self-pity I often lived in was not a healthy humility; it was pride. I felt that I lacked the recognition that I deserved, or I believed that I was being treated unfairly, so I pouted. This is not a badge of honor to wear, as if my failures and my self-hate were something noble; this was a badge of shame because pride and self-exaltation were festering in my heart.

We were made to worship God and him alone - so teach the first two commandments. When we exalt ourselves above God we have broken both. The great missionary Paul is right that covetousness (the tenth commandment) is really idolatry (Colossians 3:5). In our coveting of what someone else has that we don't have (power, fame, popularity, success, etc.), we have replaced worship of God with worship of self.

Scripture clearly tells us the problem for such pride: repentance. It is not therapy we need. It is not "positive self-talk" we need. No; it is repentance from sin and faith in Christ that is needed. That's because our problem isn't a little sickness that needs a little medicine. The problem is we are sinful to our core. Even as Christians who are dead to sin and made alive to Christ, we have a hungry, self-gratifying flesh that needs to be put to death daily (Romans 7:21-8:2; Colossians 3).

For many years I have known the art of self-exaltation, something I wrongfully called "the art of self-loathing." Calling it what it wasn't helped me to pity myself, but today I see that my sin has only one Savior: the Lord Jesus Christ "who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20).

Won't you turn your life over to him today?

1 John Piper, Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist, Revised Edition (Multnomah, 2011), page 302