Character Development
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“If you pray for patience, be careful; you’ll be given a lot of situations that will teach you patience.”
This has often been repeated to me and probably to you. Perhaps you have even said this to others. I do not doubt the goodwill or the sincerity of the brother or sister in Christ who may have said this to you or vice versa, but I do think this common, Christian cliché deserves a little unpacking.
For starters, it seems that when people say things like this they are implying that God will not give us patience immediately, but that the increase of patience will be a process. In other words, the character quality of being patient is developed over time, usually slowly and with much difficulty.
This is something I agree with, but what I would like to unpack is how God develops this character trait in his people.
Indeed, God desires that his children bear much fruit: “By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples” (John 15). Equally clear is the reality that the Holy Spirit will bear, to some degree, this fruit in the lives of those whom he indwells: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5).
But again, how does this occur? How is patience developed?
Sometimes when I hear the cliché (as stated at the beginning), I concoct an image of God teaching me patience through my failures at being patient. However, this is similar to thinking that failing a test in a class is teaching me the material. The opportunity for growth and learning is there in my failure, but it is not inherent in my failure. I will not automatically develop patience through my impatience.
Instead, what I do after I’ve failed my test at being patient is what makes all the difference. If my failure leads me to self-hatred, that’s not going to produce growth; I’m stuck on myself and remain in my sin. If my failure leads me to an attitude of self-motivation that says, “Try harder!” I will only fail again in the future. I don’t possess the power to make this character improvement. If, however, my failure leads me to repentance and seeking Jesus to empower me in my shortcomings, then I am in a position where I can grow and be taught. This is how God teaches me patience: through the continual application of his gospel on my weak flesh.
This is depicted very well in Romans 7:24-25: “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of sin and death? Thanks be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ!” What these verses state clearly is the following: 1) my flesh is weak and prone to sinning; 2) I cannot deliver myself from my struggle against sin; and 3) I need my Savior Jesus Christ to grow and produce in me what is godly and right and good.
In closing, today was a long day. Working multiple jobs, raising five kids, and trying to be a good husband makes every day a long day. But today I was short-fused.[1] When my fuse is burning, it keeps burning until I can get a few minutes to myself to hear myself think. Anyway, I lost my temper today. And what I finally was made aware of at that moment was that my failure, if it did not lead me to Christ for help, would only lead me to more failure the next time.
Our greatest problem is that our sin is powerful and it overwhelms us. What you and I need is a power that is outside of anything we can muster to drive back the dark and to put to death the deeds of the flesh. Thanks be to God! He has given us all we need in Christ!
[1] It is interesting to note that the word “patience” in the Greek actually means “long fused,” as opposed to having a short fuse.
This is something I agree with, but what I would like to unpack is how God develops this character trait in his people.
Indeed, God desires that his children bear much fruit: “By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples” (John 15). Equally clear is the reality that the Holy Spirit will bear, to some degree, this fruit in the lives of those whom he indwells: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5).
But again, how does this occur? How is patience developed?
Sometimes when I hear the cliché (as stated at the beginning), I concoct an image of God teaching me patience through my failures at being patient. However, this is similar to thinking that failing a test in a class is teaching me the material. The opportunity for growth and learning is there in my failure, but it is not inherent in my failure. I will not automatically develop patience through my impatience.
Instead, what I do after I’ve failed my test at being patient is what makes all the difference. If my failure leads me to self-hatred, that’s not going to produce growth; I’m stuck on myself and remain in my sin. If my failure leads me to an attitude of self-motivation that says, “Try harder!” I will only fail again in the future. I don’t possess the power to make this character improvement. If, however, my failure leads me to repentance and seeking Jesus to empower me in my shortcomings, then I am in a position where I can grow and be taught. This is how God teaches me patience: through the continual application of his gospel on my weak flesh.
This is depicted very well in Romans 7:24-25: “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of sin and death? Thanks be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ!” What these verses state clearly is the following: 1) my flesh is weak and prone to sinning; 2) I cannot deliver myself from my struggle against sin; and 3) I need my Savior Jesus Christ to grow and produce in me what is godly and right and good.
In closing, today was a long day. Working multiple jobs, raising five kids, and trying to be a good husband makes every day a long day. But today I was short-fused.[1] When my fuse is burning, it keeps burning until I can get a few minutes to myself to hear myself think. Anyway, I lost my temper today. And what I finally was made aware of at that moment was that my failure, if it did not lead me to Christ for help, would only lead me to more failure the next time.
Our greatest problem is that our sin is powerful and it overwhelms us. What you and I need is a power that is outside of anything we can muster to drive back the dark and to put to death the deeds of the flesh. Thanks be to God! He has given us all we need in Christ!
[1] It is interesting to note that the word “patience” in the Greek actually means “long fused,” as opposed to having a short fuse.
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